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Effective Goal Setting
Published: 04/28/2010 by Kwinten M. Kemp, MC-MHC, LPC
» Healthy Living
»» Diet
»» Weight Loss
Goal setting, especially new year's resolution type goal setting, has a shoddy track record at best. How many times do we find ourselves saying, “This year will be different! This year I will get in shape!” We may even join a local gym and start attending for a few weeks. Then it happens. Slowly but surely our commitment wanes, our resolve slackens, and we find ourselves back to our old ways with our hopes of fitness dashed against the rocks of real life. The good news is that there are ways to counter our tendency to hedge on our commitments. The key is understanding and overcoming resistance. Many times we resist that which we know is good for us. The resistance can be found pretty quickly in the language we use to prod ourselves towards achieving our goals.
For example, how many of us say in our minds “I have to lose weight!” Try saying that phrase to yourself a few times. Pay attention to how you feel as you say it. Many people I work with use this kind of language on themselves and nearly all of them report feeling discouraged, frustrated, and disheartened when using this language.
The phrase “I have to lose weight” is a setup for failure. It is laden with the language of resistance. Lets break it down: have to. Do I really have to lose weight? Is someone literally forcing me to lose weight? Not likely. While working at the Biggest Loser Resort at Fitness Ridge for the last two years I have yet to meet someone who was forced to attend the resort at gunpoint.
Next is the wording “lose weight”. The word lose suggests failure. Outside of catchy marketing, the word lose does not belong in goal setting language. The word “weight” is so weighed down with negative ideas, images, and emotions that it too is a set up for failure.
Let's look at solutions to this challenge. Take the statement “I choose to be fit!” for example. Try saying that sentence to yourself a few times. Pay attention to the feelings you experience as you engage the wording. Most people report a more open, hopeful, empowered feeling when using phrases like “I choose to be fit!” The answer to goal setting drudgery is found in this simple but powerful phrase. Lets break it down to see what works:
“I” This little word suggests big accountability. When I own my goals I am on the road to success.
“choose” Here we are honoring our inner desire for freedom of choice. It is the language of choice.
“be” Suggests a lifestyle, a way of being. Right here, right now I am creating a lifestyle of fitness.
“fit” Focuses on the solution, is a positive and desirable outcome. If I work to live a fit lifestyle, my weight problems will be a thing of the past.
Once you have created your goals using the suggestions listed above I recommend you make similar goals for each of the three main areas of fitness: nutrition, rest, and exercise. Some people have found great power in statements like “I choose to nourish my body with healthy foods!” or “I allow myself to get adequate rest!” Take some time to create your own goals using this language
Once you have your general goals made using the above mentioned process then move into creating more specific action steps to support your goals. These action steps work best when made on a week to week basis. These action steps need to be SMART, Specific, Measurable, Agreed to, Realistic, and Timely. It is important that they are tied to your more general goals. An example of how an action step may sound is “This week I choose to be fit by taking a jog four times for thirty minutes every other morning at 7 a.m.” This action step uses the positive goal setting steps and meets the SMART criteria as well.
When we modify our goal setting language to create accountability, honor choice, live a lifestyle, and focus on solutions we free ourselves from internal resistance, making it more desirable to stick to our commitments to achieve our goals. Let's join the fitness revolution by remaining committed to creating healthy lifestyles for ourselves and our families!
Kwinten is a licensed professional counselor specializing in a number of important areas. He is the program director for Teen Outpatient Services at TurningLeaf Wellness Center. Kemp also specializes in the improvement of body image through the Body Appreciation Program (www.TheGreaterYouOnline.com). Kemp has a masters degree in mental health counseling.
